2010 Was A Failure

This year was a major disappointment for me. Alot was at stake I spent many years prior working hard making sacrifices and planning for 2010.. I invested unyielding love, patience and dedication only to get fucked over this year. This was suppose to be it for me the start to the new beginning that I deserved and severely needed..It was overdue.They say what doesnt kill you only makes you stronger.. In my case it has harden me alot to the point where i cant go back. I dont believe that is strength either.. Im not sure what that it is at this point in time. I have heard too often well "everything has happen for a reason"   That reaction seems hallow. Its like overcompensation for the right words to inspire that are missing. Usually after thats stated theres no further mention of how that event effected someone or if there is a real resolution to it. Its pointless to  front and be optimistic when there is no evidence of improvement. Like I stated before my faith has changed alot. Destiny is complex and misunderstood. Alot of people believe that destiny is a guarantee. Its not. Destiny is the destination to where you are suppose to be. It is up to you to find the means to get there. You cant sit on your ass and wait for it to knock on your door and appear. Sometimes a destiny involves others. You may being doing what you need to do to fulfill this destiny however those who are involved arent putting forth the same effort. Its not always a solo mission and without the cooperation there is no success. Im really not looking forward to anything major at all on a personal level..There are some things that I must do. But im not excited.  Typically for the average person it has great significance. For example advancing in a career, making more money, etc.  I dont love money or love making money. It just a resource to me and thats it. It doesnt define me I  dont care about social advancement bragging rights, or none of that other bull shit. All of this honestly makes me go in the opposite direction for a spiritual pursuit. I  appreciate spiritual wealth more then material wealth. One outcome I have always tried to avoid was spending so much time and focus on a monetary and martial pursuit that years passed by and one day I would wake up not knowing who I really was internally. Thats a dreadful existence to have. How one measures success says alot about their character.  Well I have said enough for now.. Until next time.